Edges of Me

A Heart-Wrenching Story of Secrets and Co-Dependency ...

Glass-brimming Jenny (psychiatric nurse) and her new patient, glass-definitely-half-empty (physiotherapist) Claire, develop a lifelong and fateful co-dependent friendship that is scarred by secrets and untimely ends.

Edges of Me is an emotional and thought-provoking read, based on a real encounter between two young women at the start of their adult lives.

Spanning the period from 1981 to 2019, Edges of Me follows Claire, a young physiotherapist struggling to navigate life, and Jenny, a psychiatric nurse seeking a meaningful purpose. Claire has always felt ‘less than’, Jenny has always wanted to ‘be more’, both are searching for identity: the edges of themselves. They recognise this in each other.

As an ex-psychiatric nurse, Gaye Poole brings her personal experiences to this fictional tale, delving into the struggles surrounding undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. By drawing upon her knowledge of the subject matter, Gaye creates an emotive and moving story, shedding light on the very real struggles faced by mental health professionals and patients.

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What the author says ...

“I have carried the idea for this book around with me for decades, wanting to play out the imagined life story of a psychiatric patient who, in other circumstances, having made other life choices, may have been a friend, struggling too to find a foothold in life. Edges of Me is about an intense female friendship; how such relationships can be the most rewarding, and also the most destructive, particularly with a third wheel present. In this case, the third wheel isn’t always another person, but is an undiagnosed borderline personality disorder plus a trailer-load of secrets. It is also an exploration of two very different women and their searches for their own identities, which often get blurred together, at times very unhealthily. Ultimately it is a story of how we reframe a life lived and the hope we can draw from other’s experiences. The diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder in the early 80’s was still relatively rare. With hindsight, I look back at patients who were deeply misunderstood and perhaps had undiagnosed BPD. This book explores the possible life some of these patients could have had.”

Reviews ...

Ex-psychiatric nurse and comedienne Jo Brand says of Gaye’s book:

“A fascinating and moving book and, of course, an area and era I am well acquainted with! Gaye Poole has beautifully captured a time and an atmosphere I am very familiar with and the big bonus is it’s an absolutely great read. She captures the essence of the time and pinpoints the tricky area where the professional and personal sit uneasily in the field of mental health care. A fascinating, warm and absorbing story.”

Fellow author Lisa Jenner says of Gaye’s book:

"Poole’s experience as a psychiatric nurse shines through in this insightful debut novel. Edges of Me is a heart-rending narrative woven around the tragic thought distortions of a serious mental health disorder. She beautifully captures both the ordinary, everyday isolation as well as the extraordinary challenges caused by painful delusions and misunderstandings. Almost without you realising it, Poole subtlety invites you to consider that not only are we all on the mental health spectrum somewhere, but also that our place on it isn’t fixed: patient and helper roles shifted, swapped and morphed seamlessly throughout her story. Mental health suffering often comes with a significant ripple effect - a heart-breaking impact on those who try to love the person affected. Poole’s depiction of the painful consequences for family and friends and the sensitivity and resilience needed to stay close was astutely observed. Ultimately, however, it’s her portrayal of their powerlessness that gets to you the most and leaves a lasting impression."

Instagram Reviewer:

"This was such a complex journey into a twenty-five year friendship. Like two magnets Jenny and Claire were drawn together. Meeting at a time in their lives when they both needed someone to lean on. Jenny with her need to “save” felt it was her obligation to make sure Claire was ok while Claire drifted in and out of dark periods of her life. While their lives seemed to mirror each others with relationships, marriage, and children Jenny’s blossomed and Claire’s seemed to wilt. Their friendship withstood hard and very dark times…Claire with her mental illness and Jenny’s cancer diagnosis.

While the focus of this story is Jenny and Claire’s friendship and their lives over twenty-five years we also meet their daughters Liv and Evie. This adds another layer to the story and is quite heartbreaking at times. This was an intense and highly emotional story to read. Poole handled the portrayal of mental illness in a very sympathetic way.

Other reviews:

"Just wanted to say "How did you do it?" I felt you tell the story/stories in such a way that they remain most intriguing but the authorial perspective seems almost dispassionate, something like a complex and somewhat perplexing case study. And dotted throughout the timeline are these references to things going on in the wider world, some of huge significance whilst others seem almost trivial. For me they served to "place" the stories in a concrete world that I'm familiar with. Then, suddenly, in the final sections, I find myself closely involved and emotionally invested despite knowing from the outset what happens to Jenny. So the end of the novel is huge wallop in the solar plexus. Hence my question, "How did you do that?" However you did it, it's brilliant. Having suckered me into a sort of interested observer status you swallow me up in the emotional power of the stories."

"I have just read this amazing, beautifully written book. Enlightening and heartwarming ... do buy or download. A book that makes one think about life's experiences."

"Brilliant book. Finished in 48hrs!"

"Brilliant and absorbing novel. Beautifully written and powerful themes - look forward to the next"

"Just finished your book, I cried and laughed.. loved every minute of it and could really hear you in the pages! Thank you for such fantastic writing, can’t wait for the next one."